First thing in the morning, I crawl out of bed, throw some clothes on – and go feed and water the goat. If I’m lucky – the hubby has fed the cats. If not, they throw themselves bodily in front of the door and insist I feed them – FIRST – of course. I start the coffee pot on the way out the door so when I get back in I can have my first, nice, hot cuppa as my reward.

To me, this is the most normal thing in the world. I have had chores as far back as I can remember. Because I love animals, have “a way with animals” and generally have lots of animals, my chores have always been to feed, water, and clean up after animals – however many might be in my charge at any given time. I’ve always taken it for granted that I have chores that must be done every day.

Today, of course, I’m in town. James teased me last night that I have to get up early this morning to get my chores done before we go to town. (He is getting a big giggle out of this whole “livin’ in the country” business).

Which got me to thinking. Other than myself – I don’t think I’ve heard the word “chores” used in years. Of the young people I know, I don’t know of any of them who have chores. Not one. My daughter grew up with just a few chores – making her bed, cleaning her room – and let me know that I was the epitome of an abusive and cruel mother and the only one in the universe who made children do chores. According to her, not one single child in her world – other than her – had to do chores.

The weird thing (to me) is…I think she might have been telling the truth.

Maybe it’s just me – but I wonder what sort of kids we are raising who are used to not even taking care of themselves, let alone anyone or anything else. They have no responsibilities – no chores - because we give them none – and then we complain they are irresponsible.

I have met – and cleaned house for – grown men who have absolutely no idea whatsoever how to clean house. They have a vague sense that it isn’t right that they have to buy new dishes every few weeks and that they haven’t seen their sink since a week after they moved in – but they really, truly, do not know what to do about it. Their mothers did every thing for them, made the bed, washed dishes, scrubbed the bathtub – they never had a chore to do – and now they do not know how. One of them had me write him a list on his computer, with a schedule of what to do when – after I taught him how.

Another young man, meeting me doing laundry in the Laundromat started asking question after question and I soon realized that he had a vague idea that you take dirty clothes to the laundry mat – and then they are clean when you take them home – but not a clue as to what happened in between. He had not had any chores. Mommy did all that for him – until he moved out and then…he didn’t know how.

It seems to me that the mothers of these men (and there are women like that, too) did not do their children any favors by never giving them a chore, or expecting them to take the responsibility of caring for themselves. Now they are adults – and just learning how to cook, clean, and do laundry. Or – in some cases – living in a filthy pit and wondering why the dishes don’t jump up and do themselves like they did at home!

(My personal favorite was an acquaintance who said – “why do dishes, they just get dirty again – why wash clothes, they just get dirty again” – etc. She just bought paper plates, and new clothes every few weeks. But let’s not talk about the sheets on her bed or her bathroom…)

I would like to put forth the theory that not giving your children chores - responsibilities for taking care of themselves – at least – is really the child abuse.

I’m not saying use the poor kid as a maid service. But age and ability appropriate chores are not asking too much. The smallest child can learn to pick up their toys and put them in the toy box once a day. Older children can clean their room, make their bed, and perhaps take out the family trash a couple days a week. If they have a pet – then by all means they should feed, water, and clean up after their pet.

And while we are talking about chores, and taking responsibility and animals-

I have a real pet peeve (no pun intended) about people who do not take responsibility for their pets. I’m not talking about major animal cruelty here – but those people who can calmly sit and watch their dog shit on the carpet and not clean it up. I’ve seen houses and apartments where the dog or cat (and in a couple of cases, a ferret) has a “shit spot” just like they would in the yard – and there are twenty or thirty piles of shit in it.

Now, I cannot imagine living with one pile of shit in the house for more than the time it takes me to get cleaning items together to get rid of it. Yet there are people who act like they have no clue how to pick up and throw away a pile of shit. Or keep the pet from doing it.

These are the people who make it hard for me to travel with my pets, or rent an apartment or house with my pets. I’m really sure that for every one person who is like that, there are a few dozen like you and I who can’t get that shit cleaned up fast enough. But a landlord or hotel owner only needs one bad experience resulting in complaints, ruined carpets, bed linens or more to say “no pets”.

And you know – those are probably kids who never had to clean up after their puppy! They had no chores!

Show your kid how much you love them today. Give them a daily chore. They might resent it now, but they’ll get over it when it becomes routine. You can certainly say “thank you for doing your chores”, too.

Because – think about it. If a person grows up expecting someone else to clean up after them, never taking a moments responsibility for themselves – then what happens when suddenly they find out they are responsible for supporting themselves, paying their bills, let alone washing their own dishes? They really are not equipped to do it – because they never learned. Isn’t equipping our children to cope with life what we, as parents, are supposed to teach them?

*Grin*

Blessedbe